Coping with Aging Parents
Making the call on living alone
Getting our elderly parents to talk about their living situation is not always easy. Many take the mere mention of it as a threat to their independence and shut down the conversation immediately. Still, if you question their ability to live on their own, it’s a conversation worth having.
Being successful depends on your relationship with your parents and your parents’ ability to comprehend their situation and recognize their abilities. And successfully having this talk can be an opportunity for greater closeness, understanding and peace of mind for both you and your parents.
Consider these tips to get the conversation going:
- Don’t wait until it’s too late. This conversation is likely one you should have on an ongoing basis, so that you understand what your parents want from their later years. Should they not be able to make those decisions down the road, you won’t have to make quick decisions for them that may contradict their wishes.
- Be gentle and honest. Again, you’re talking about their independence. Deal with the facts on hand and try to understand where they stand on the issue of living alone.
- Share your own feelings. Whether you have concerns about or confidence in their abilities, let them know what you’re thinking. Assure them that you support them and will be there to help them solve their problems.
- Help them keep control over their own decisions. Respect and try to honor their wishes wherever feasible.
- Encourage the smallest change possible at each step, so that the parent is more able to adjust to the change.
- Educate yourself on legal, financial and medical matters that pertain to your parent as background for your conversations, including current knowledge on the aging process.
- Respect your own needs. Be honest with your parents about your time and energy limits. Could you take them in if you had to? What level of care do they need? Understand what it takes to care for them so you can make the best decision possible for their long-term care.
Even when elderly parents are used to looking after themselves, they can become afraid of living alone for any number of reasons. Talk about the changes that are taking place in the family. Address them openly and honestly so that both you and your parents know and understand how to face the future together.
This article is provided for general, informational purposes only and is not intended as advice specific to your situation.
