Moving Forward: Teens and Parents
Working stiff
It doesn't take teens long to figure out that it takes money to get and do all the things they want. As they think about where they might get this money, it doesn't take them much longer to figure out it's probably not coming from you.
The demands for the disposable income of the young can be staggering, including cell phones, song downloads, gas for the car, movies, trips, clubs, uniforms, dresses, outfits, hobby equipment… the list goes on and on. Eventually, they may decide that the only way to get the things they want is by getting a job.
The possibility of a working teen in the house creates a completely new dynamic that's likely to affect everyone in one way or another. It can be a step toward greater independence and responsibility. It may also be a step away from schoolwork and other commitments.
Your feelings may drift between both sides, and you might avoid talking about your teen getting a job until the circumstances become clearer. But rarely does that make the issue go away.
The best way to address the job issue is to get it all out in the open so everyone knows where the other stands. That way, you can develop a path that everyone can agree to. Try these tips for getting the conversation going:
- Understand… you're talking to a teen. It shouldn't come as a surprise that teens don't like people telling them what to do. Try listening to what they have to say first, without dictating what they should do.
- What’s the motivation? You child needs money. Earning money is a good way to start learning responsible money management. Talk about what your teen wants to use the money for, how much they were hoping to earn and what they intend to save.
- Reality check. Your teen needs to know that taking on a job means an increased sense of responsibility both for their world and now the working world. State and local laws may prevent a teen from working certain hours and in certain industries. Also, school should remain a priority. Your child may not understand this right away. So be sure to discuss the limitations that come with any job they seek out.
- Have a plan. If your teen has a goal, such as saving to buy something new, saving for college or not saving at all, you should talk about the best way to go about achieving their plans. Make sure they understand what the implications of spending and saving are and then help them develop a plan to meet their goals.
Getting a job is another step your teen takes toward greater independence and self-realization. By keeping the lines of communication open, you help them understand what lies ahead and help them be better prepared for it. So keep talking.
This article is provided for general, informational purposes only and is not intended as advice specific to your situation.
