Talking to Your Partner
Four wheels with attitude
Stopped at an intersection, under the din of the tinny sound coming from the one speaker that still works, comes a rumble from under the hood. It sounds like an angry beast about to break through. Then, the steering wheel shakes in your hands as the car shivers, jostles and jolts, until it lurches and stops with a pop. A cloud of dark smoke billows up from the grill.
You need a new car.
Of course, you’ve known this for a while. The problem is, your spouse thinks he can fix anything and he doesn’t even want to talk about the prospect of getting another one.
Still, while the event of your car dying and leaving you to fend for yourself at a random intersection may motivate him to reconsider, you know that you both want different things in a car and you haven’t yet found any agreement on the matter.
Take small steps. The first part is getting him into the conversation. A good way to proceed is to follow your instincts. Ask yourself:
- Does the car feel safe?
- If you repaired it, would it still be a reliable vehicle?
- Are you spending more and more on repairs to keep the car going?
- Can you honestly afford a new car now?
When you decide how you honestly feel about the car and know the reality of your situation, tell your spouse about it.
When you’re both ready to discuss what you need in a car, be ready with facts:
- Define the need. Talk about what you think you need in a car and why. Define your use and consider whether you want to go new or used, practical or sporty and so on.
- Consider money. Be ready to show what your current car costs you versus what you might pay for a newer car. Will better gas mileage help you save on fuel costs? What will your payments be? Will your insurance needs/costs change?
- Consider safety. Would a newer car provide a higher level of safety for you and your family? Look at a number of models and compare features. Locate recall notices and average repair costs for the models you’re looking at.
- Look long term. It’s not likely that the cost of owning and operating a car will go down. Will buying a car now make more sense for you in the long run? Can you afford payments now where you might not be able to down the line?
Finally, be ready to listen. There’s give and take on your part, too. You’ll have to make certain concessions if you want him to. This doesn’t mean that either of you are settling for less. It just means that you’re willing to work together to do what’s best for both of you.
This article is provided for general, informational purposes only and is not intended as advice specific to your situation.
